...don't get my hopes up...

so it's tuesday before thursday where i usually well, you know. by today i normally showing the tell tale signs and my breasts are usually super-tender, but nothing yet, could it be...no, let me not get my hopes up just yet...

..and wait...

as i said before, waiting is soooo not my thing, but here i sit ...waiting! it's only been just over a week but i still have minimum of 4 days till i maybe, possibly miss a period, then you've still got to give it a few days to make sure that your body's not just being a bitch and messing with you.

even worse is the fact that with siena, i didn't miss a period, or so i thought (apparently it isn't a real period but something else, your body's first act of revenge i think, or maybe denial), so for two weeks of actually being pregnant i thought i wasn't and went around cursing and swearing under my breath at all the pregnant women who seemed to be parading themselves in front of me, everywhere i went.

so only when i started to feel nauseous the week that i was due to ovulate did it dawn on me to do a test which then showed those glorious 2 pink lines. by then i was 6 weeks. a silent apology to all those pregnant women that i swore about in my head.

so i might get a psuedo period and then have to wait another two weeks before i start getting symptoms. which is gonna drive me insane and probably gonna cost me tons in 'just-in-case' pregnancy tests, 2 for R40 at clicks by the way.

so here i am, still waiting, fighting the urge to do a test just in case, no, i think i'll wait...

say aaaaaaaaaah!

so 2011 is finally here and i start this year on a very exciting note. jp and i have finally agreed on the fact that it is time to make a big sister out of siena. she's 3 and a half now and has started to realise that all her cousins and school friends have got little brothers or sisters, and she tells me daily that she wants a pink girl, not a blue boy, but definitely a pink girl. daddy on the other hand tells me he definitely wants a blue boy, which secretly i want too. but due to the age gap, a girl may be best for my little monkey, so either way i'll be thrilled.

so on thursday i had my first gynae appointment (3 years overdue, but life happens in between) i really love my gynae, she is awesome. after a chat, an internal scan, a pap smear and some blood tests, this body is ready for action. a bit anaemic but nothing an iron sup can't sort out. (note iron can wreak havoc on your regular twice a day routine, so i drink half a tablet daily instead)

it also just happens that i started ovulating on this day so gynae told me to go home and get busy! smsed jp the second i left her office. something along the lines of 'be ready, i'm on my way'.

conveniently jp and i have decided to start eating healthier this year and due to a holiday planned with friends, kelly and nick, in bali in april, we need to get our old beach bodies back! (don't know if i ever had one of those, but having a baby is a really good excuse to why i'm a bit outta shape, nevermind that it has been over 3 years)

jp, has decided to stop drinking and smoking hubblies for 'beach body' reasons but this is great news for baby making reasons too, need those swimmers to be able to swim in a straight line afterall.

so thursday night was fun, spent some time propped up on a pillow, and gynae reckoned to wait a day and then 'get busy' on the saturday too. which was going really well until siena woke up and came through to the bedroom to ask for a milky bottle, jp made it by seconds. 'dad will get it my angel, mommy needs to lie down cause her back is really sore', (couldn't risk gravity robbing me of my chances) jp is also under a strict 'no touching yourself' rule before ovulation week, need those swimmers to be strong and plentiful.

now we wait... i don't do well with waiting! patience and i are barely on speaking terms...