...so my last gynae appointment was a real laugh, for anyone who has
had a baby you'll know that every gynae appointment, which happens
4 weekly, you start off by having to weeeee in a tiny plastic container
with a little lid.
well during your first few visits this is challenging enough as you can
check the ever-elusive 'flow' and catch the weeeee by shifting the tiny
container to catch your golden bounty. i applaud you if you can do this
without getting weeeee all over your hands!
then, after washing your hands and your precious little sample, and drying
it off ever so carefully, you get to carry this and hand over a luke warm
container of weeeee to the poor person who has to test it.
now...bring on the 3rd trimester, gynae appointment as scheduled, although
you're past the open your legs and say aaaaah, internal scans, and you've
progressed to the ice cold goop on your belly, external scan, you still like to
give yourself a number one with the your husbands face razor (haha) just in
case emergency strikes and your gynae has to go internal.
however, your vaJJ is no longer clearly visible, if you're lucky, you can shift
your belly everso slightly to the side and mmmmmaybe catch a glimpse of her,
so shaving is now left to your husband. no jp, it doesn't have to be a work of art,
just tidy it up and keep it looking respectable!!!
now bring on the actual appointment, smile, greet, collect your teeeeny tiny
plastic container, and here we go, shit, i can hear it but i can't see a damn thing,
so you shuffling that container around frantically attempting to catch eratic
ever-moving weeeee, you know you're on the mark when the pitch of the splash
changes, but just as you're about to celebrate the flow whips into another direction
and f@&*^%k you're back to square one.
so after 5 min in the loo, and a bout of hysterical laughter, i emerge, somewhat
triumphant, with a teaspoonful of weeeee in my little container! whoop whooop!...
